SURVIVING THE SHAME - RECOVERING FROM SEXUAL ADDICTION
and many other addictive behaviors.
A healthy relationship is not confined to a sexual relationship, which must end in orgasm,
but celebrates the sharing and exploration. Addictive sex refers to a recurring pathological relationship with sexual experiences that numbs or medicates psychic pain. Sex is not a mutually shared experience; rather it is an emotionally isolated act that may involve one or more partners.
Co-sex addiction refers to the addictive behaviors and belief system of the partner of
the sex addict. The co-sex addict becomes the enabler for the sex addict and often
time’s ends up in sexually compromising situations to keep the relationship alive.
If you work in the field of chemical dependency it is to your clients direct advantage
that you look for and treat this AND OTHER addictive disorder.
Or as Terry Kellogg said treat the disease of addiction.
Patrick Carnes Ph.D., nationally recognized expert in the field of sexual addiction
recovery describes the following elements of the addictive cycle:
Belief System - I am a bad person, no-one loves me, no one is here for me, the addictive behavior/s are my most important need
Impaired Thinking: Delusion, Denial, Rationalization, Minimization, Justification, etc. leads to the
Addictive Cycle which is characterized by Preoccupation constant thinking about acting out
all addicts have a ritual - Ritualization - how someone dresses, make-up, colors, going to a specific location, at a set time, engage in specific behavior/s, loud or quiet atmosphere, crowded, uncrowded on and on and on
Addictive acting out behavior's : sex, drugs, work, spending, gambling, eating, alcohol,
followed by feelings of Despair
which ultimately validates the
Addicts self-defeating belief system
to recurring states of unmanageability and the cycle starts over again
BELIEFS AND ATTITUDES
The addictive cycle results from underlying beliefs and attitudes, which are significant
to the sexual or other addictive interaction.
They help in establishing an addictive norm for the person.
Norm refers to that which was taught in the family of origin and in the early
learning experiences of the person.
Specific sexual behaviors are a result of these beliefs and attitudes. They form the
basis for the sexual relationship one develops with self and others and how those
translate to the outside world. Levels of addiction are applied to help simply separate
out specific behaviors. All levels of addictive behavior are painful.
Please understand that deviant behavior does not necessarily mean addictive behavior it just deviates from the norm that it is being compared to.
A SYSTEMS APPROACH TO TREATMENT
Treatment is optimized when health care professionals and family members are all working towards recovery. Additionally consequences need to be applied for harmful or illegal behaviors but not without regard for treatment. Therapeutic approaches that I have found that seem to work well are Voice Dialogue or Parts Therapy, SMART Recovery, The 12-step model, Grief Work, Acupuncture, EFT, TFT, Healing Touch, Therapeutic Massage, Psych-K, Hypnosis and Guided Imagery.
Michael Yeager B.A., LCDC, C.Ht., RMT, CAS, Owner of The Council on Holistic Healing and Recovery and Contemporary Teaching an International Clinical Consulting & Training company offering live and approved homestudy training courses for continuing education credit hours.
Sexual Addiction, Grief Work, EFT/TFT, The Silva Method, SMART Recovery, 12 step Model, Voice Dialogue to name a few. Call 713-461-3279 or visit http://www.contemporaryteaching.com